I can feel you drifting away from me, even now as you stand in front of me perfectly still. I feel you slipping through the deadly grasp my fingers have on you. And I know it is true because one hand is holding on and the other is pushing you away. I can sit here and think of the days where this never existed, where the anger and confusion flooding the tiny rooms of my heart weren’t even a thought that passed through my mind. I can recall the perfect way your hand fit mine and the magic that your stare held for me. Where everything was so new and lovely, and joy never eluded me as it does now.
It is as though a thousand lifetimes have come and gone in this one moment, and I can’t get them back. Like trying to by magic beans, or learn how to fly, the past remains what it is; inaccessible. I watch the light pass through your eyes and leave as quickly as it came, and my heart aches, wondering if there is a way back into your heart. For now, things are as they seem, long wasted and over stretched to the point of ache. I will try to find your hand, entwine it in mine, and long for a feeling reminiscent of the love we had once.
Until then, I will wait, and do my best to love you as I know I can. I will watch the leaves change their shade and share in the irony of natures story, the journey of a thousand loves and a thousand lives in a single leaf. In a single heart. In your eyes. And I will hold on to that.
Drifter 